Note to self…
To rule your life, you must have the courage to lead.
Calm, cool, positive, confident. Think Clint Eastwood in the movie Pale Rider or The Outlaw Josey Wales
In the face of all confrontations and obstacles. You are a rock. An iron shaft in the frozen ice. Immovable.
A leader is a person who sets high standards and achieves them. – Have the courage to lead yourself – All great men win victory over themselves first before being called upon to lead others.
Control of yourself starts with the simple. Your eating, emotional outbursts, language, responses to stress, your exercise program. These must be under your steel-trap will, before you can ever expect the balls you need to be successful, let alone lead others.
If you don’t think you can do this, you can’t. When the time comes that you think maybe you can, then you will start looking for ways to achieve instead of reasons you can’t. Excuses are the thousand cuts of castration.
Will you get it all right? No.
You will make wrong decisions 90% of the time. The more experience you get, the less you get it wrong. Your automatic decisions will frequently become more correct.
You’ll still shit the bed daily. But you’ll be correct more often as well.
Fail fast to get to the victories. The more dirt you sift, the sooner you’ll strike gold. You can’t win unless you’re playing the game.
Discipline and focus are the only things keeping you from what you want . If it’s a goal, work towards it every day. If you don’t work towards it every day, then it’s just an interest. It’s just mental masturbation.
“Look at me, I’m getting some.”
No you’re not. Not unless you are physically working towards the real thing instead of only thinking about it.
This is why focus is important. You can’t work towards multiple things at the same time. There just isn’t enough of you to go around. You must delegate or focus on one major goal with intense discipline. Anything else added to this daily obsession must be supportive or it is sacrificed.
It is only when you take complete control of your life that you feel happy and content like a boss. I describe why in the post Locus of Control.
You want to be free. That is the calling of a great man. Not to be a slave.
Besides the obvious of working for someone else and being one pay check short of broke, you can also be a slave to your own devices.
“True freedom is impossible without a mind made free by discipline.” – Mortimer J. Adler – How To Read A Book
You can’t lead yourself without self-discipline, willpower, self control, and self mastery. A leader is in control of himself and the situation.
Do that. Be in control. Get your shit together.
That’s why discipline is so important. Discipline puts you in the winners zone of taking actions instead of making excuses. Discipline is about getting your shit together instead of making excuses why it smells.
With discipline, your life becomes a series of only one of two choices: Do or don’t do what needs to be done, to get what you want. There is nothing else. No tales of woe and depravity about your hard life or time wasted on reasons why you can’t.
“Can’t,” should be a red blanket waved in front of your bullish brain.
What about those traumatic events in your past that are holding you back?
Get over it or use it.
Leave it behind or use whatever emotion you’re feeling to fuel your success.
Your father died.
Does it make you angry? Use it as tackling fuel and create something.
Does it make you sad? Use it to write the most gut wrenching poetry the world has ever seen.
Use it or get over it.
Move forward, play another hand. Increase your odds, take another dance with Lady Luck. Keep trying. But quit making excuses.
Quit looking for the glory hole.
Quick and easy, barely ever works out in your favour.
How much of your lifetime do you waste chasing shortcuts that lead nowhere when you could have just buckled down, done the hard work and reaped the benefits if you had been doing the right things up to now?
How much time is wasted thinking and berating yourself about not working out, when you could have already been done with the damn thing and sitting on the couch enjoying some steak watching 300 like a Spartan bad ass?
The ultimate aim in life is to be a happy free man. To become the person you WANT to be. So now you ask, “How must I live to be happy” and get on with the actions that will take you there.
That is all there is to it.
That is why you need discipline. Stop the short term bandages like having 6 beers instead of feeling the pain of a job you hate and start working on your passive income
Reach for that which will make your happiness longer lasting than a six pack buzz.
Do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.
That’s nutting up. That’s being a man.
Being a man isn’t about dropping the F bomb, belittling women so they serve you, shooting down coworkers to make yourself look better, or picking on the weak.
Push yourself to be better than that and swim against the current around you.
Why should you bother pushing yourself?
Because you reap what you sow.
If you sow nothing on your own, then you have nothing to reap on your own.
This makes you the corporation’s little bitch.
Grovelling for a hand out, just to feed you and your family.
When your master decides to stop feeding you… you will realize why you should have been leading yourself all along.
How To Have The Courage To Lead Yourself
If you do what other successes have done, you will achieve the same result. Body Of A Soldier is a good example. There was a process to that, as there is everything.
1) Put in the work. 2) Follow a plan. 3) Win awards from the military for being fucking fit.
That’s how you do it.
When you get a success. Do it again. And again. And again.
If you are going to learn from someone, judge that teacher by his actions and accomplishments. Not what he says or writes. In other words. Fuck your guru’s advice if his life doesn’t match his teachings.
There is no time to waste learning from a talker.
Find a doer and become a worthy apprentice. Then become a master yourself.
So many self-help gurus prattle on, and what have they accomplished besides filling the world with words?
You’ll learn more from the life of a Viking or Samurai then James Allen or Ralph Waldo Emerson. The latter being words and not deeds.
I covered if the law of attraction works previously. It’s your actions, not your thoughts that carry the day.
Real self-help can be condensed to “Nut up and do something about it.” Fix it. Whatever is in your way, embrace the suck and overcome it. Sneer at it.
Subjugating solely to the law of attraction and positive thought to change your life, is like dreaming of food hoping to build muscle, but never lifting anything heavy. You need food like you need positive thought, but do the work.
Losers make excuses and winners make progress. It’s not linear. You will mess up but at least you are moving forward.
Winners are always in the progressive realization of a worthy goal they’ve set for themselves. There is not enough time in life to waste otherwise. Losers are sucking their thumbs in the corner wondering why no one is helping them out. Winners are making it happen every God-damn minute of the day.
Once you know enough to get started. GET STARTED and figure the rest out as you go.
If you only continue exclusively with learning, you’ll come to the realization that all the knowledge in the world may as well be daydreaming if you don’t execute action on it. You are not smart unless you use what you know, to get what you want.
The idle book sitting on the shelf doing jack squat, has the same information locked away more accurately inside it, than you do in your brain. It’s not possessing the information that makes you a success. You will never make a million dollars unless you execute on the information you learn.
Discipline yourself to take the information and make something happen with it.
“You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself…the height of a man’s success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment. …And this law is the expression of eternal justice. He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others.” – Leonardo da Vinci – The Artist And The Man
“It is ordained in the eternal constitution of things, that men of intemperate minds cannot be free. Their passions forge their fetters.” – Edmund Burke, Reflections on the Revolution in France
More from that full passage states, “Society cannot exist unless a controlling power upon will and appetite be placed somewhere, and the less of it there is within, the more there must be without.”
What does that mean? If you cannot control your mind and body, then there have to be laws to do it for you. Else, we’d fall into chaos.
Since most people can’t discipline themselves, we need laws to tell us what to do. We need corporations and media to tell us what we want, and we need jobs to feed us because we are too lazy to put in the thinking and work on our own.
We break apart and mould nature and the world around us into what we deem useful. We never get tired of ripping it apart and putting it back together. We think of things and make them, until the world becomes, at last, only a realized will, a double of our human thinking.
The world is a reflection of the people that act on it. The world will be a better place when we are better people. “We” will be better when I am better. Direct yourself. Have the courage to lead yourself.
The little voice says, “I can’t because…”
The bigger “I” grabs that little bitch by the throat and whispers in it’s ear, “I control you. I can end you. You blame circumstances for what I am. I don’t believe in that. I look for the conditions I need to succeed, and if I can’t find them… I make them.”
You have to do the things that successful people do, the things unsuccessful people are not willing to do. If you want to win a bodybuilding show , you need the discipline to stick to the diet and training when others are eating sweet and sour chicken balls with their feet up.
Happy successful people have the discipline to centre their days around activities that will achieve a goal, whereas failures seek daily activities that relive tension and give immediate happiness.
The trick to not losing your mind and becoming an OCD freak is to set a reasonable workload for the day set by both goal and deadline. Get it done and then go have fun.
Once you determine what is a productive action in a given circumstance to achieve your prize, you do not allow any wiggle room until those right actions become habits. You will slip up, but you whack at it again and again until your monkey mind submits to you.
Discipline is the glue that sets a habit.
You are the all powerful mega-lord of your life. The star. Not the supporting cast.
Conquering self discipline is a life lynchpin. It expands your self confidence, self esteem and personal pride. This is how the army changes you. They discipline you until you’re proud and self governed. Then, when they have created a good soldier, he will do the right thing, at the right time, over and over again until he breaks or is victorious.
Until he breaks or is victorious…
When is it time to give up and call it quits on your dream? Never. Even when you break, you can still adapt and overcome like the night in the Monty Python movie The Quest For The Holy Grail.
“Live the life you love, love the life you live” – Die Antwood
You must be a warrior of life. Not just in combat. Weak men are impotent, riddled with the disease of doubt and insecurities. Strong men have integrity and persevere until victory.
A warrior man is consumed and on fire with becoming a truly self-directed man abounding in freedom.
The finish line is only the start of another adventure. Without adventure, your spirit would fade.
Thinking of a certain goal or being successful as completion, leaves you riddled with anxiety during the chase and with malaise upon completion. Be that guy that is always working on something cool, instead of wishing about it being done as fast as possible with the least amount of work.
Getting done as fast as possible is a “choke your chicken mentality”. Be a man and put in at least an hour a day doing what you are truly interested in and passionate about. Enjoy the process and the quality of what you do will be reflected in the work.
Doing a bunch of shit tasks, rushing towards completion of something you hate so you can finally get to “nirvana land” and play, is a misguided approach. Do the important thing now, and do it well.
There will be ups and downs in whatever you do. It will never be perfect ease.
Wrestle, fight, enjoy the challenge of getting into and giving your unique gift to the world instead of “Only doing this now, so I can do what I want with my life later.”
This IS your life. Every day.
Mediocrity does not exist to a real man. Only the striving to do his very best.
This IS the later. Later than yesterday when you had the same dreams and hopes for your life. How many “laters” will you let go by before realizing that you must put in the effort of nailing down what you really want to do, and get working towards it NOW.
Do at least an hour a day. That or realize your future plans are just fantasies and you will die leaving them as good intentions.
Until you are in control of all aspects of your life doing what you want, around people you like, you will not find happiness.
When you act in accordance with your values, you feel good. When you compromise your values and drift from those things that are important to you, you feel bad.
It’s that simple.
You need courage. Courage to lead yourself. Courage to face fears, and start the process even though you will most likely fall on your face at first. Then you need the courage to go all in and stay the course until victory or death. You need to stay in the fight, to persevere until.
Not if… But until.
You have been through many ups and downs. You’ve done well and also completely lost your shirt. Now is the sowing again and you will sow until the harvest is rich again.
War ebbs and flows. The battle is continuous. But without battle, life would be boring. Boring is death.
Face your challenges and love them. Without them, you would fall into nothingness. An empty vessel staring at the wall, feeding yourself, sleeping, maybe fucking. Then what? A majestic three-masted sailing ship, without course or puff of wind to move it.
You feel that negative emotion in your gut?
All negative emotions rely on blaming someone else for something in your life you are not happy about. If you stop blaming, take ownership and start changing things on your own, negative emotions disappear… Leaving a sense of happiness.
This is changing the locus of control. You went from victim to handyman. It used to be something else happening “Out there” to affect you, now it is a challenge that you’ve excepted, and when resolved, will make for a happier state.
Look at fear. Someone or something scares you. Learn to beat it then. Fear gone.
Whatever puts you into a fear state, learn to dominate that thing. When you learn the solution and conquer the problem. You have something to teach. This works but is a longer route to true freedom.
The real secret to conquering fear is not giving a fuck if you die or not. If you accept this mentality then fear is simply a friend saying hello. To which you smile, nod your head and keep on course.
If your company starts doing layoffs… wait, you thought a job was secure?
At the drop of a hat, they will lay you off, tell you to pack your tools and go home. That’s it. Done.
Stability is a joke. Seeking stability is a fear mindset. Worry and fear do you no good. Only acting to right a situation does you any good. If they won’t offer you security, then make security yourself.
Do what it takes. Staying up until late at night? Getting up early in the morning? Learning something on your lunch break? Whatever it takes.
Instead of gossiping or bitching and moaning about other coworkers, the bosses, the economy. Do something productive. Improve your own game.
Tearing others down is the perfect example of the employee slave mentality. Do as little as possible and pull others down to your level.
You need to better than this if you want to be successful.
Start working your way up to a leadership position so you can cause change. If that is not a possibility where you work because of politics, glass ceilings or whatever, then start working your way out of the company to start your own.
Oh, that scares you…
Fear can be disguised as tension. Tension tells you a lot. It is protective. You can’t react from a protective place. Therefore you can’t grow.
Relax your shoulders, lock gaze with what threatens you, be open to respond.
Discipline yourself to FACE your challenges.
Instead of turtling, practice staying in the uncomfortableness and react skilfully, Automatically. Like a samurai. Like a soldier. Like a man.
“Freedom means responsibility. That is why most men dread it and would rather go through the day hating their jobs than go after their dreams.”
George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman
Life is a war. This is not a bad thing. There will be casualties and victors. You need to plan your mission and bring about all your resources to make that mission accomplished.
If that makes you squeamish. Prepare to be conquered. There are generals out there that need cannon fodder.
Bring all your powers to bear and on your death bed you won’t be left with, “If only I had…”